20 oct- 26 oct

20oct

Today was the day. the day of our presentation. Everyone from my group was preparing their presentation while I did nothing. I don’t want to get nervous, that is why I didn’t rehearse my presentation like they did. So, I did nothing. When the time comes, as always, I get cold feet. The same thing happened yesterday when it was about five minute to go to the taekwando club. I’m a loser, isn’t it? anyway, I braved myself because a friend of mine tell me something that really hurts my pride. She disappointed with me. Those words kept playing on my mind. Anyway, when I was presenting, miss fairus stopped me. I was just about my third point. I don’t know why she did that. Was it because of my lame presentation? Or was it because she hated my way of presenting? Was it because I just shouted not presenting? Who knows? Let’s wait for the result.

21 oct

I just happened to know that my jap class was cancelled today because they replaced it last night. Again. last night and I didn’t know. Why? Because my lecturer posted it on her facebook. And why I didn’t check it? because of this farting upsi jaring! I cannot get through my password! And even if I use my friends’ passwords, excuse me, the line was soooooooo irritating..! i might die eating thi laptop while waiting for the internet to be connected. Wwhy they didn’t tell me? Because I’m freaking alone in that class. Okay, one of them told me, but it was too late already! I didn’t blame her of course. She thought that I knew already. Because of the stupid line, I missed my favourite class..!!!!

22oct

He had a haircut. Hihi…

Anyway, I have a program this day. a facilitator program. It was so tiring and I don’t get time to update my status. I really hope you understand. Thank you.

23oct

I was waiting for this day. I was really waiting for this day to come. I set my alarm really early (but, I didn’t wake up because I was expecting them to wake me up). I wanted to go there!!! I didn’t go to k.l because of this day! i’m frustrating right now!! It wasn’t their fault. I don’t blame them. But, I was disappointed. They dont seem excited as I am. I realized that. Anyway, we can plan, but, He set everything.

I chatted with him just now. He said something that really makes me annoyed. He knows nothing yet he made it like it was my fault! I was the victim here. Okay, you want the truth? Yes. I was running away from you! Why? Because I hated you!

24 oct

I went to the taekwando club today. I get the courage just to go there. And something bad happened. someone was accidentally dropped a bottle of water, the big bottle, on my head. And he was in the second floor while I was on the basement. What do you think? Was it hurt? Bloody hell, yeah. I was going to black out actually. I feel dizzy until now. And I couldn’t think right at the moment. And I yelled at him. And now, I feel sorry for him.

I enjoyed the club today because everyone’s going back to their hometown, so, there were only 8 people including me at the club. I cant face more people.

250ct

Well, today I went to iium to see the final round of the Bahasa debate. It was between uitm and usim. The English debate was held in the evening and we didn’t have the chance to join it. it was live broadcasting in mobtv.com. our vice pm, Dato hishamuddin was there. Including the famous and very important people. I was so shocked when I saw they debate. I was like “whoa, for real? They can talk like that?”. I wish I had their confidence. The best debator was given to a student from usim. They were the winning team. They can bring back rm25000. It was nice. And fyi, they are not even from fakulti of language. Anyway, its iium, so I had the chance to meet miera n bilah there even for just a second.! Love them. To ain: thanks for giving me this opportunity, this is the new experience for me. And thanks for making me smile all the way, because of those memories from kmkn.

26oct

Kak gee came. We went out to rawang tesco and had our lunch there. It was nice to be outta here. I was going to be sickened of bored. Love it. That night, we bought food from the café. And to be real, we waited for about 3hours just to buy 3 fried rice.

11 oct-19 oct

11oct

I’m reading this particular novel titled “the wedding planner” which I borrowed from Sue. It is intriguing, I should say. The novel tells about the sweet and touching story about the bad relationship between two sisters. The one who had a perfect beautiful celebrity life while the other who had failures in her life, no job and no money. The thing that they both didn’t know was they always been eaten up by jealousy to one another.

13oct

Okay, here’s the deal. Miss fairuz don’t want us to tell our story about our friends, family or ourselves which is of course what did I do for past three weeks. We need to write about what we do to improve our English regarding this is EC class. Truth be told, then, I don’t know what to write.

14oct

Okay. My roommate, Nisma and i have been trying to speak in English for the whole time which lasted only for five minutes each time we try to speak. I don’t know what had happened. We talked in English, then, suddenly without realising it, we are speaking in Bahasa. Shoot me.

16oct.

I hated the fact that I have to ruin my lovely perfect free day when I had to attend a workshop for facilitators’ trainers. But, it has a little bit of enjoyment when we learnt about psychology. Watching criminal mind every Monday makes me really like psychology. Not like that I want to further my study in the field. But, knowing some of it is enough for me to trigger me to learn it more. I want to know more. I want to learn more. Like when I learn biology. I loved it when we can study about ourselves. Anyway, I already did the psychological tests like several times before. And each time it came out the same answer, the exact same terrible answer; a very low self esteem. I told you already right? If the flying Dutch man in spongebob squarepant gives me three wishes for the exchange of his stocking, my wishes would beà give me the high confidence.

Anyhow, why should I ask help from a ghost..? I have Allah. (^___^)and I hope I can change it.

I want to change.

17oct

One friend asked me to do a thing that needs my commitment. I refused to do. Not because I don’t want. I want it. but, I don’t have the confidence. Again, its all about confidence. I want to change to be a better person. I really want. And this thing can change me. But, I’m afraid I don’t deserve it. I think of people outside, there are way better than me. living in the shadow of high confidence and pretty people really makes me become who am I right now.

18oct

Phonetic and phonology test. I really love dr. che ton. She’s funneh. Anw, like always, I didn’t read the book. The difference of today is the reason. This time, I really didn’t have time to read. Really. i read only just for 1 hour. How come that’s enough for me to answer the quests? Fool me.

19 Oct., 11

The person who makes me annoyed called. I didn’t know in the first place why I gave the permission to someone to give that person my number. I don’t want that person to call me. I don’t want to have any connection with that person. I don’t want to be so close to that person. That person makes me feel gross. I don’t like that person.

The thing that I learnt in SLA classà avoidance.